i wished i would just shut up.
i feel guilty now.
now reading and watching,
i find that maybe this whole thing was my fault.
writing all that was so uncalled for.
instead of looking at myself,
i only saw others' imperfections,
instead of looking myself in the mirror,
i only know how to critisize.
in my mind,
i think that everyone is bad and i am good.
i think i'm a hero, when i'm actually the villian.
i didnt think that maybe i had hurt her.
well i did.
i'm so selfish.
i only think of myself,
and the tears i shed,
but i didnt think of the tears she shed.
if she did shed any, that is.
i am so idiotic.
only caring about myself.
i think i started this whole thing.
why cant i be normal.
and have friends and thats it.
i always have to complicate things.
this is why i dont have many friends,
and also why i always have these kind of problems.



erh. i really feel like continuing but i'm so disgusted by myself right now. so i wont.
will be off for NP camp tmr and friday.
apologies for my stupid posts.

-natalieang: shut up, natalie. you've said enough.