back from MIA-ing (:
hahaha.
hmm, first two weeks have been busy,
all the ss, amath and physics homework had me busy.
and trying to understand emath and chemistry.
busy busy.
anyway,
got some time to rest cause tmr is sports day and then good friday,
which means long weekend :D
i like long weekends!
got time to finally relax,
and can get away from all the stress,
and and more time to do homework (:

i ran last for the 400m heats yesterday ):
i chiong-ed for the first 200m,
which was a mistake.
then my knee started to throb,
so instinctively,
i slowed down,
then my shoelace came out.
LOL. so yeah, i struggled to run to the finish line.
but i made it.
thanks to people who cheered me on,
even though i was last.
it was really nice of them (:
thanks people.

yeah, so since my knee still hurts,
i dropped out of 4x400m,
cause i dont think i'll make it.
will just run the chungcheng 71 run instead.
maybe i'll just run more rounds bah :D
haha, hope to run at least 5 or 6 rounds bah?

taekwondo competition inching closer and closer.
need to focus and maintain composure.

national science challenge is also getting nearer ):
i hope we can make it,
but i kinda hopeso.
he display teamwork in our experiment,
but in real life we are no team at all.
i hope we can bond closer and be like a real team.

its alright. i'll just try not to be hurt.
i feel like everyday is just a test to me.
to see what will happen next.
but i think its over.
i know who you chose already.
i guess i was a fool to think i was even one of the choices.

gotta go off soon,
bye people! update soon soon soon! (;
-natalieang: and we'll be, a dream.

i wished i would just shut up.
i feel guilty now.
now reading and watching,
i find that maybe this whole thing was my fault.
writing all that was so uncalled for.
instead of looking at myself,
i only saw others' imperfections,
instead of looking myself in the mirror,
i only know how to critisize.
in my mind,
i think that everyone is bad and i am good.
i think i'm a hero, when i'm actually the villian.
i didnt think that maybe i had hurt her.
well i did.
i'm so selfish.
i only think of myself,
and the tears i shed,
but i didnt think of the tears she shed.
if she did shed any, that is.
i am so idiotic.
only caring about myself.
i think i started this whole thing.
why cant i be normal.
and have friends and thats it.
i always have to complicate things.
this is why i dont have many friends,
and also why i always have these kind of problems.



erh. i really feel like continuing but i'm so disgusted by myself right now. so i wont.
will be off for NP camp tmr and friday.
apologies for my stupid posts.

-natalieang: shut up, natalie. you've said enough.

i wish she could understand.
i wish that we could go back.
but she doesnt understand how i feel.
she always goes far far away.
and i can never find her.
but when i do,
all she ever says is mentions her name.
but what about herself.
she just leaves me alone, and sometimes i want to talk to her.
but its clear that she just doesnt want to.
she probably thinks i would rather talk to her.
but thats not true okay.
i am trying my best to look out for her,
but she just refuses to tell me anything.
i miss when she would spend her time with me,
and when she used to be so excited to talk to me.
nowadays i think she just finds me a pain to her.
i didnt know our friendship was so fragile.
instead she would rather spend her time with others,
thinking that i dont want to spend time with her either.
everyday after school she's gone.
i have nothing to say anymore.
i know rules are meant to be broken,
but what about friendships?
maybe ours wasnt to last anyway.
i really treated her like my friend,
and i'm trying to hard to save our friendship,
from the rough waters of incertainty,
but we are drowning.

BACK FROM CAMP AT BINTAN (:
it was super fun :D
i loved all the activities :D
now i'm kinda tired so i shall update tmr bah.
hahaha.
anyway,
in all,
it was awesome <3

bye people (:
-natalieang: you are the only exception.

the winds blew and the waves were coming,
but we were just drowning.
its hopeless i guess,
we will never get back to how it used to be.
goodbye good friend,
i'll miss you.

helloh helloh helloh (:

finally the CT is over!
but yet tmr is when "all hell breaks loose" -.-
LOL.
everything was so hard,
except maybe amath, hoping to get an A for it.
and maybe try to get an A for emath and physics,
but the rest i'll just aim for a decent pass.
;x

super excited for the bintan trip!
i've never been there but i can just imagine it,
and plus all the fun stuff we'll be doing,
super duper funnnnnnnn!
like what,
climbing up trees,
rock climbing (my favourite sport ever! <3),
making mosquito nets (which i think we're gonna need :O),
and loads of other cool stuff (:
super excited! its gonna be tons of fun!

yesterday me and my mom caught 'dear john' at amk hub,
we also ate some sushi and sweet potato,
and shopped for kim's birthday present,
the movie was alright,
the ending left me and my mom feeling like its not really the end.
haha, but yeah, i still cried my eyes out.
it was really sad );
you have to watch it to understand i guess.

anyway,
today was kim's borthday celebration at church!
cake and presents!
and we ended up late for cathechism class,
but its okay :D
it was really great,
laughing at kim's hannah montana book,
that alethea and audrey bought.
that was so hilarious,
and the polariod pictures we took with alethea's cam!
and her deep hatred for douglas after he wasted one of her polariod shots,
i think he accidentally pressed the button.
and the cake was yummy! (:
the stars! (hahah, go fb! there got loads of pictures!)
today was just awesome!

ohmy,
nervous for tmr ><
scared scared scared,
hope i can do well,
if not all my efforts were wasted,
i need more smart genes!
anyone wanna donate?
okay nevermind just ignore me,
i'm so nervous i'm typing crap.
okay bye! (changing the topic)

-natalieang: i wanna ask you to dance right there, in the middle of the parking lot.