already gone ♥
by kelly clarkson

i dunno whats up with me during school these days.
like, i always feel down and sian,
and i'm just like a zombie who walks around everywhere,
aimlessly, just walking on and on.
maybe i'm just boring ._.

i hate this feeling.
it feels like i'm all alone,
even when theres people beside me,
around me, or even talking to me,
i feel that their hearts are not with me.
but the worst comes,
i am in the canteen.
almost everyone has left to line up,
i'm sitting with samantha,
sharing recess.
my classmates are having a party.
i already went there,
where the cake was, but nobody talked to me or anything,
(like i was invisible)
so i just took my piece of cake and left.
i was seating at a table near the party.
then, as i was going to take a bite of my recess,
i suddenly glanced to the benches where my classmates were,
and guess what i saw?
everyone taking a class photo.
i dropped my spoon onto my plate.
samantha asked me: why arent you taking the photo with them?
and i asked myself the same question.
then i remembered,
'i thought just now i saw some 2D people eating at another table too?'
'oh yeah, someone called them over to take the photo'
but wait, thats not right.
if someone called them over...
why didnt anyone call me over?
this was when i felt that feeling that i oh-so hate.
the feeling of being completely left out,
and being alone.
i picked up my spoon and continued eating.
but since that lunch i havent had much appetite.
even until now. i keep flashing back to that moment.
and when mr neo gave out the photos,
and yian passed me a photo.
i looked at the photo.
and i looked carefully at all the faces.
they are all so happy.
i guess they didnt really need me right?
i'd probably just ruin the whole picture.
but looking at the picture.
somehow i'll know that one day everyone will be looking back,
and smiling at this picture.
but it seems that i am completely erased from this picture.
maybe nobody will remember me anyway.
yes, oh i hate that feeling.
after the dance,
yeow wee also told me something that i knew.
"natalie, you dont know how to dance right?"
its not his fault. i already knew that.
and he's like that,
being his direct self.
maybe next time i wont dance at all.
nobody will notice anyway.

goodbye.
this post is over.
-natalieang wants to be a part of her class, but sadly is not.