Wednesday, May 6, 2009; 4:36 AM
friendship is really something.
filled with laughter and fun.
but ours, it felt like you were having fun,
while i was suffering.
i hate to say it,
but you threw your tantrums at me,
without a single sorry.
and, actually i don't really mind,
but you did it over and over,
and you never want to talk it over with me,
like you didn't want me to bother.
it hurt me.
then after that,
i would come to you all excited,
wanting to tell you something,
and then, you said you already knew,
in a 'duh' way,
but it occured to me, "why didn't you tell me?"
it was like you wanted to keep it from me.
and then the issue of your 'other friends',
i felt like i had to ask to be included,
and like all the jokes you all shared,
i didn't understand,
this made me yearn to get away,
as i felt that i wasn't wanted.
and, since i felt like everytime i was near you,
our friendship seemed to fade away,
i had to retreat,
to stop my wound from hurting.
and then i just felt that,
you were hurting me,
every word of criticism,
every time you said you were with 'them',
it hurt me so deeply.
its like you have a whole other world,
a world, sad to say, without me.
i trusted you,
and told you everything,
but i felt liek you always kept secrets from me.
i longed for a solution,
so i tried to stay with other friends for awhile,
hoping that i would find a solution,
but i didn't, instead,
i found that being with my other friends brings me joy.
but now i still feel empty,
there's so much i feel like telling you,
but i can't.
the hurt, will all come back again.
i admit, i'm not completely the same person,
but i am trying, to be an all-the-more better person.
bernice knows, in primary 5,
i had a really rotten attitude,
but after being hurt before and ganged up against by all my friends,
i learnt my lesson,
and told myself, to change.
to be a better person.
luckily, i still had some friends to rely on,
tseyen, zhixian.
they really cheered me up.
and mingen, helped me when i had problems with my math teacher.
these people,
are my lifesavers.
anyway, i believe i have changed.
for the better, i believe.
even though i am still struggling hard with my studies,
i am determined to do well.
this gives me a goal in life.
but what about friendship,
i find that,
with my other friends,
there is laughter and fun,
without any hurt.
and they accept me for who i am.
and are so kind to me.
its like i am actually wanted, after all.
this perfect circle of mine,
makes me wonder if we could be like that,
i am willing to try, even if the hurt is there.
but i don't know about you.
maybe, if its really meant that way,
our friendship, i hate to say it,
is over.
please god.
save me.
tell me what i should do.
hey peeps.
chnaged my braces colour to orange ;D
and wore a mask inside the medical centre ._.
LOL.
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yesteday xinting gave me a note.
so damn funny.
HAHA.
she's so cute.
ily flower (: i am your fan too ;D
you rock girl ^^ !!!
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buh-bye.
mugging awaits.
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